Jet City

Hey folks! I'll be at table A-04 for Jet City Comic show in Tacoma, WA on November 8th. Come by and check it out if you're in the area!

Iron Man Mk. 42 Commission Process

Just finished another commission and figured I'd show the process. I started this with blueline pencil on bristol, after several thumbnails and referring to models and reference.

After the pencils were good enough, it was time for inks. I usually ink with Copic Multiliners, although I'm happy to crack out a brush. For something that requires as much precision as Iron Man, pens were the way to go.

After inks, it was time for markers. I went in with flat colors, using the lightest base tone I had, and blocked everything in.

Once the base colors are laid in, it's time for detail! I basically paint with the Copics and then drop highlights in last with white ink or gel pen.

Aaaaaand this is the final piece, after all's said and done.

Thanos & the Infinity Gems

Finished this bad boy the other day. 2nd try with watercolors & I think I'm finally getting a feel for it.

9x12
Watercolor, gouache, & ink

100lb acid free paper
$200, message me if interested

It's hard to pick a title without sounding cheesy.

Dave's funeral is today & I wish that I could be there to say goodbye, but this post isn't about being sad. I beg your indulgence and ask you to please take the time to read this to the end.

I had a friend tell me something profound that has stuck with me for the last few days. They had gone through a person close to them committing suicide as well, and what they said was this (I paraphrase, so my apologies, but this is what I essentially took out of it): When someone you love kills themselves, you have 2 options, really. You can choose to wrap your grief around yourself like a cloak and let it drag you down into the abyss, or you can honor who they were and what they stood for and celebrate life. I choose to celebrate life.

I'm going to talk openly and honestly about myself for a little bit here to give some context. I'm bipolar. For the better part of the last year, and on & off for a few years now, I've been suffering bouts of major depression. I was in a car wreck, right after art school in 2001, that made it so I couldn't draw for close to a decade. With a lot of hard work I got it back, and was getting fluid again. I worked on a few books, got a couple pieces into magazines, and was feeling pretty damn good. Then I had another flare up that took it away from me again in the most brutal way possible.

I was in constant agony (like pass out screaming agony). My studio fell apart and closed.  A year and a half of opiates, muscle relaxants, minor spinal surgeries, and specialist after specialist who could not help me or offer a comprehensive diagnosis. Cervical radiculopathy, arthritic spine, 3 blown discs in my back, carpal  tunnel, neurological, autoimmune, needs surgery, doesn't need surgery, etc., etc., etc. The last drug that they gave me was an old-school tricyclic called Amitryptaline, which was amazing for a week, and then started to kill my personality. By week 3, I was completely flat. By week four, the unbidden suicidal thoughts came. My brain pushed thoughts about killing myself for the better part of a week before I had a lucid moment and told Rach what was happening. I thank god for that, otherwise I wouldn't be here today. I found out soon after that Amytriptaline is incredibly closely related to and works along the same pathways as Cyclobenzaprine - a drug that I told every single doctor I had seen that I have an extremely bad emotional reaction to. I stopped treatment through Group Health immediately after.

I made a slow recovery afterward, but due to Dave, and the added acupuncture and chiropractic, I did get better. As of last November, I started drawing again, and worked on another book project, but I couldn't shake the depression. All the problems with my body got me into a place where my confidence was shattered. Having my art taken away from me again was too much. I went from being depressed because I was hurt and avoiding activities because they would exacerbate my situation, or cause me more pain, to avoiding things altogether under the idea that it MIGHT make things worse. I've sequestered myself away from most of my friends, and spent hours at a time sitting in a dark room, staring at a wall, because..well, it sounded like the best choice at the time. I felt...unworthy...broken...a million and one different, terrible things about myself.

I developed (and still struggle with) a hyper-realized fear of failure - to the point that I stopped drawing completely, even when on some level I knew that I physically could. I was so terrified of failure and of putting myself out there that it was better to just not start anything in the first place, because then it was impossible to let anyone, or myself, down. I did it all without realizing that giving up was really the biggest failing of all.

That's basically been the last few years of my life.

This week, I noticed something interesting and weird - in the last couple of days, really. Dave's death has done something to snap me out of my depression. As I've started to come out of the depths of my grief for the loss of my friend, I realized that the burgeoning sense of hopelessness has gradually disappeared, evaporating around me like smoke dissipating in a stiff breeze. Everything around me doesn't seem quite so dark anymore in the corners of my mind. My creativity is starting to come back, and I'm beginning to be able to envision what I want to draw again at least somewhat clearly. I've been more social in the last 2 days than I have been in a really long time, taking the time to reconnect with friends that I hadn't seen in over a year, and realizing again how much I love life and miss living it.

I can't help but think, that in life, Dave, you helped fix my body, and in death, you fixed my soul. And I thank you so much for that last gift, my dear, dear friend. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't think I'll ever stop missing your presence, but I'll always carry a piece of you with me.

Loss...

One of my best friends killed himself last week. I'm still reeling, and I honestly don't know what to do except write about it. It feels so woefully deficient, talking about loss and a depth of feelings that can never be accurately described in words. I thought "heartbroken" was a euphemism, but I really feel like something inside has been savaged beyond repair. There's a hole in my life in the the shape of Dave, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm a fixer. I try to make things right.

It's been a week, and my mind is finally wrapping around the idea that there's nothing I can do. That he's gone. That I won't hear his voice, or see his kind smile, or the mischievous twinkle in his eye ever again. I miss you, Dave. I love you, man.

You're looking at the new co-host of The Super Awesome Geek Show!

Been a while, hasn't it? I realize that I start a lot of blog posts that way. Gods below know that I'm pretty fucking awful about keeping anything but my Facebook updated. Since this is a special occasion though, I NEEDED to post something up here! AS you might have guessed from the title, I was honored this week to be asked to be a regular part of The Super Awesome Geek Show podcast! I was a guest on the Batman themed show & wound up babbling on so much that they had to cut it into 2 separate shows. Guess I didn't do too terribly awful though LOL!

My first show, now lovingly know as episodes 13a and 13b are supposed to drop later this month. Tune in to hear me call David Goyer an asshole (you screw with J'onn J'onzz and you screw with me, son!) & why people who hate comics shouldn't write comic book movies. LOL I've heard there may be some bleeping out in a couple passages. ;)

Vision done!

Got my brand new Copic Anniversary set today, and decided it was time to play! Finished coloring my black & white Vision, and was very pleased with the end result. Gods, I love Copics. =)

ECCC Batman sketch is up for sale on eBay!

The ECCC Batman sketch that I posted up earlier is up for grabs on eBay! Check out the auction here.

Whoa...apparently I never posted this. Balrog from LOTR.

How did I forget to post this guy up here? I suck at organization. LOL!

Do not argue with this guy. He might bleach out all of your clothes!

Apocalypse NOM!

Glad I was finally able to finish this guy before the show. He's just so damn cute, and wound up being a huge draw to my table. The original is now officially SOLD!

He just wants to get to the creamy chocolate center. ;)

ECCC 2014

Gods, ECCC was such a blast! This was my first time doing the show as an artist instead of a retailer, and damn if it wasn't amazing! Sold quite a few prints at the show and learned a ton. #1 rule of doing con as an artist: Don't show up on day 2 at 8AM. Everyone will laugh at you. LOL

Here are the pieces I wound up doing at the booth during the show.

Joker, based off the Coney Island Steeplechase face.

The Spirit

Dick Grayson Batman

Harley Quinn commission in progress

Been working on this gal for quite a while now. Trying to take it extra careful, as it's ultimately for a tattoo. Next step: inks!

Update (3/2/14) Inks WIP

Inks done!

And finished with Copics.

Holy SHIT! Something new!!!

Yeah, I'm fucking awful. I know it. I don't post anything for AGES, and just when you think I've fallen off the face of the planet...

Both will be available at my table at ECCC 2014, along with a whole lot of other stuff. =)

Why Wonder Woman is a Mess, and Why You Most Likely Have No Room to Bitch...

When you work in two comic book stores for a living, you get asked some questions that can be pretty hard to answer. Being a bit of a (read "bit of a" as "giant fucking") comic nerd all my life, I've plumbed the depths of my knowledge base to come up with answers to those tough questions. One of the ones that I get asked on the regular is, "What the hell is the deal with Wonder Woman?"

On it's face, this seems like it should be pretty easy, right? I mean, WW is one of the three pillars upon which the DCU stands on, is she not? Superman is pretty damn straightforward. Truth, justice, the American Way, got it. Everyone knows Batman. Dark Knight Detective, murdered parents, avenger of the night, got it. What's so different about Wonder Woman?

In a nutshell - she doesn't HAVE a core origin or motivation. Nobody knows what the hell she's about. She's been rebooted and retconned with the frequency that most of us change socks. If you ask 10 different comic fans what the deal with WW is, you will get 9 different answers, entirely depending which run the person was a fan of.

Diana does not react well to constant reboots.

Are you into Marston's original bondage girl Amazon princess who was also the secretary of the JSA and worked as an Army nurse? Does your WW go completely powerless when she's bound by her own lasso? How about Kanigher's inclusion of the Gods? Or perhaps the Mod spy stories of the late 60's or 70's is your vibe with Diana all dressed up in white and running a "hip" boutique while dishing out street justice entirely powerless? Was she the one made of clay or was she born mortal? Maybe you got into WW post-Crisis, so the Perez run is your template, where they introduced Themyscira, and all the craziness involving Ares and the Greek Pantheon, where Diana was essentially a female Superman in terms of powers. Before that, she relied on her artifacts and sweet, sweet invisible jet. Maybe you preferred Artemis as WW instead of Diana. Some people actually liked the Straczynski temporary revamp starting in WW 600. Maybe you jumped onto WW at the New 52, because you were too damned confused with her dozen other origins, and wanted a fresh start.

Now if you can sort a core origin out of that mess, you're better than I, and I do this for a living.
Perhaps a better question to ask in light of all this is, "Why is Wonder Woman such a mess?"

Now the answer to THAT question, my friends, is simple. The answer is SALES. Wonder Woman has never been a hot bestseller for DC, regardless of the character's longevity. Right now she sells less than 40,000 copies a month, and that's NOT good. Sadly, the sales figures for her standalone title going back nearly 20 years show typical sales being between 25,000 & 50,000 copies a month. Ten years prior, less than 20k. In the 60's, she sold worse than Challengers of the Unknown.

In contrast, Batman typically sells about 150k per month right now, for JUST the core "Batman" title, not including Detective, Legends of the Dark Knight, etc, etc. What it really comes down to for the reason that WW is SO incredibly mercurial, is that creative teams have been desperately trying to throw shit at the wall for decades, over and over, in the hope that the new incarnation will stick. For the most part, none really have, although the Perez version is basically the baseline for what we think of her these days.

So tell me, which Wonder Woman is yours, that you will defend with your rancor and rage? Regardless of the answer, I will simply reply, "Well, you should have bought more copies when that version was in the comics then." 

Playing catchup

Good god, this poor thing has been my longest standing commission, requested of me just before my body began going into meltdown more than a year ago. Very glad for a patient, understanding client, who was stoked to receive it in time to give as a birthday present this year.

Definitely one of the most interesting requests that I've had to date, and one of the tougher ones to figure out in the pencils phase. I have a tough time with mechanical stuff already, combined with the perspective...well, let's just say I had to redraw the thing far more times than I'd like to admit. LOL

Don't ask me what the story is behind it, I just draw what they pay me for. ;)

Pencils, finished in Copic multiliners and marker.

Damn, it's been a while....some thanks, and a bit of an announcement.

I'm incredibly grateful for all of the offers of projects and commissions that I'm being solicited for. Thanks, you guys, so very much! I also want to thank my clientele who have been so incredibly patient with me through all of the medical problems that have plagued me over the course of the last year and a half. I promise that those long-awaited pieces are forthcoming!

I had a really great talk with my wife after the con was all said and done, about this path that I'm embarking on again. I've read the horror stories from long time industry pros that I respect, talking about the lack of medical insurance or consideration from a company that they've slaved for for years, only to be pushed to the wayside in the wake of younger, "hot" talent. Guys getting sued by multinational corporations over making a tiny bit of profit for themselves, off the characters that they themselves created. The face of the business isn't terribly pretty, and that's for the pros. God help the freelancers like me. I wanted her on board with full knowledge of what would be in store for the near future if I went this direction. Luckily enough for me, she was kind enough to give me her support.

I know how tough it is to be a professional starving artist. I've already been through one studio collapse, and burned through a nice nest egg in order to make ends meet, but also I've learned a lot from the experience. I feel like I'm ready to tackle it again, but in a smart manner, with more hard work and determination this time around. The last time around was a lot of fun, but when it really comes down to it, I don't think we were really serious about making it a success as a business. I don't regret it, and I'm not bitching, but I'm in a place where I can look at it honestly without my ego getting in the way. My partner was also a convenient crutch for me to lean on to cover my weaknesses as an artist, and it allowed me to not have to learn how to do some key things the right way. This time around, there can't be any shortcuts or crutches. Just bootstraps and a whole lot of pulling.

Right now, I know things are going slow. This last flare-up really knocked me for a loop both mentally and physically and I've never been a very quick artist to begin with (I think "plodding" is about right...). I feel, though, like I've been slowly awakening from a bad dream, and I'm in a good headspace for the first time in a long while. My mental processes are flexing, and I'm knocking the ring rust off my body bit by bit. 

If a few irons in the fire go our way in the next few months, we'll be in a position where I'll be able to leave my M-F day job and pursue this again full time, as opposed to sneaking in those moments I can spare, when my brain isn't near-dead from dealing with the Morgue. Just the thought of that makes me smile, even if it's just a tiny bit at the corners. =)

My first new anything in a looong while. Took me a few days on and off, as I was feeling up to it. Wearing the wrist brace all the time seems to have helped a bit with the carpal tunnel and the new med is doing nicely to filter out a lot of the white noise in my nervous system. Still not fixed yet though, but working on it. =)

Didn't want to bugger up a paid piece in my long suffering to-do list, so this is up for grabs. Drop me a message if you're interested in this piece adorning a wall near you! Papa's been out of commission for a while and needs to start a Cintiq fund. ;)

"Recovery time makes Batman angry! Then again, so does pretty much everything else..."

There's some rough pencils and ballpoint under there, finished with Copic multiliner & sketch markers. Highlights with gel pen. 9"x12"

Special thank you gift for my 2000th visitor..

I checked out the ol' blog today, and saw that I was at a whopping 1750 pageviews! If you happen to be my 2000th visitor and send me a screenshot as proof, I'll take your request for a quick thank you sketch in your honor! Thanks a million for coming back to take a look at my stuff. As always, it's much appreciated. =D

Sketch o' the Day - Sinestro Corps Iron Man!

I really like mashups. I'm not even really sure what it was that brought me in this direction, but I thought it was pretty cool. Sometimes with these sketches, I just sit down and let the drawing take me where it wants to go.

For my friend, Brian

A buddy of my is leaving for Istanbul in under a month, for an extended period of time, and he asked me if I'd do a Quicksilver sketch for him. The first thing that pops into my mind when it come to Quicksilver is "haughty, contemptuous asshole", and I think I was able to get that across, which is ALWAYS a bonus. Here's to hoping that he digs it! =)

What is it with Magneto's children and a pathological lack of a sense of humor?